Here Be Marriage |
A place to think about marriage. The personal essays here relate to the specific experience of the author, and are not meant to suggest, in any way, that there is a "right" or "wrong" way to get married, or that you even should get married. They are merely approaching marriage from the perspective of if you're going to do it, what questions need to be asked and answered? Why "Here Be Marriage?" It's a riff on the old "Here Be Dragons" map tag, and, in a way, marriage is the same sort of mythical thing. |
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Notes An early thought on being married.
25 days in and I don’t know if I’ve had any grand realizations or epiphanies. People are still asking me, some joking and some serious, how it’s going. What’s it like, they say, nudge nudge, wink wink. Usually I just say, it feels remarkably like not being married, and this is true to an extent in the sense that we were already well and truly married before we were married, and now we’re still just as goofy as before.
But the real answer is now I do feel something different, or I feel a same feeling with more clarity. I feel lucky. Truly lucky. Lucky because I’ve found someone who really, in every meaningful way, compliments me. It may be she compliments me in totally meaningless ways too. And I don’t think this is a requirement for either love or marriage, and I don’t think it’s something you can necessarily work towards, although if you want to have a complimentary relationship with someone you can certainly work towards it. But for all our effort and love, this is something that just sort of happened. It was an accident, a chance, a bustling of chemicals, and because that is true it means that we got very lucky.
So what does marriage feel like? It feels lucky. And that has put a stupid grin on my face all the way until now.
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