Here Be Marriage |
A place to think about marriage. The personal essays here relate to the specific experience of the author, and are not meant to suggest, in any way, that there is a "right" or "wrong" way to get married, or that you even should get married. They are merely approaching marriage from the perspective of if you're going to do it, what questions need to be asked and answered? Why "Here Be Marriage?" It's a riff on the old "Here Be Dragons" map tag, and, in a way, marriage is the same sort of mythical thing. |
Some benefits derived from marriage can be secured through domestic partnerships, adoptions, insurance policies, and well-written proxies, directives, and wills (how much tuition could be paid for with the legal fees for all that?), but not all of them. The Defense of Marriage Act prevents federal spousal benefits from going to same-sex couples. More than a thousand federal statutes rely on marriage to define one’s status. If you are a widow of any age caring for a child, and your income falls below a certain level, you may qualify for Social Security benefits based on your late spouse’s earnings (beyond what the child might receive). An unmarried parent would not. You don’t need to be married to be a good parent, but marriage equality protects children by giving parents more tools with which to protect them.
Say that the practical issues could all be worked out, and domestic partnerships could be made more or less equitable. Would that do the trick? This was one of the central questions of Perry v. Schwarzenegger: whether being almost married, but not quite, is good enough.
"Amy Davidson in The Newyorker